My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
