I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
