I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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