Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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