I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
