The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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