he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize