shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
