i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
