We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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