first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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