508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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