We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
