she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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