I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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