Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
