I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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