so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
