hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
