Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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