Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Randomize
