i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize