My brain says no but my pants say off.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
