you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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