I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
When are your genitals available?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
