first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize