Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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