You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
