Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
