SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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