Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
