im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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