Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
