why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
