i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
