He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
