i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
