Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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