I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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