..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
