I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
