your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
