we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
