Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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