we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize