So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
