dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
