i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
