Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
