If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
