Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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