you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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