shes about as inviting as chlamydia
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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