I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
