Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
