she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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