Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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