She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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