I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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