she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The adults are the big ones right?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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