Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
