Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize