He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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