I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
