the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
