You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
