everyone is single if you try hard enough
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you will always have a special place in my vag
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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