He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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