ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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