Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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